Keeping it together ... Seeking the Honey of Life

I find it necessary to make a note to myself - the difference in remaining stagnant versus keeping active. Rather than being utterly depressed and lifeless, I forced myself to go for a run today. Well, it was not much of a run, but more of a walk, run, fast walk, walk, and run, and so on. But I'll get there! And I kept on down the trail this afternoon. I took a break by the water over a bridge and reflected. I remembered how connected I used to be to nature, all the messages I used to receive from its entities. I used to immerse myself in the study of totem animals, and the more I learnt and opened myself, the more I heard and saw - the more I felt connected to the spiritual component of life. I stood in silence over the bridge, eyes deep in water, and listened. I was calm and my whole world stopped. Life continued around me. Nature was trying to reacquaint itself with me in the form of a bumblebee flying around me several times and then flying away.

The bumblebee, or bee for that matter, symbolizes fertility and the honey of life. It teaches us how to extract the honey of life and to make our lives fertile while the sun shines ... that no matter how great the dream there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue it" (Andrews, 2005). The bee reminds me how important it is to keep moving. It is a productive and busy creature just as I need to be. My dreams will not flourish if I remain stagnant. My heart will not mend itself if I remain still. The walk relaxed me and also provided me with reassurance that everything will be okay.

And then later tonight, I attended a karate class and learnt my first kata. I must say I had a lot of energy to give. And coming home, I felt ... good. There is still an undertone of heart ache that I cannot shake off, but it is not consuming me like it was last night. Working my body today as well as my visit within nature really cleared my mind, really helped me to appreciate myself more today, and to make me feel good with who I am. When I feel good with myself, things are least likely to bring me down. Today was spent well. Tomorrow is a new day. Keeping active is key. Feeling alive is a must.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.” -Henry David Thoreau-

Reference:
Ted Andrews (2005). Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small.